By Stormy Barbara ’11 and Kayla Jenson ’11
January 9 – 15, 2011
ARIES(March 21- April 19) Strange hands have recently been found climbing up the toilets. Watch out when doing your business.
TAURUS(April 20- May 20) Lucky you! Someone’s looking for a girlfriend/boyfriend; be on top of your game this week with that crush that you have had your eye on.
GEMINI (May 21- June 20) Michael Jackson has risen from the dead, be prepared to drop a Thriller beat on command.
CANCER(June 21- July 22) We see that the holidays really took a toll on you, stay away from the dessert table for a couple days..
LEO(July 23- August 22) Looks like the cat is out of the bag, your secrets are not longer safe with those you thought you could trust..
VIRGO(August 23- September 22) You left something of great importance at home over break, if you fail to go home and retrieve it before January 12th, it will be gone for good.
LIBRA(September 23- October 22) You know those little white specs you keep seeing on the ground, they are not crumbs, instead cockroach eggs preparing to hatch..
SCORPIO(October 23- November 21) We know you think you look fly in your school picture but rumor has it you resemble that of a Smurf.
SAGITTARIUS(November 22- December 21) You should check the school store for hygiene products, many complaints have been circulating campus about a certain stench.
CAPRICORN(December 22- January 19) You look like a buffoon walking around campus in that nice outfit you got from Santa, I would take a rain check if I were you.
AQUARIUS(January 20- February 18)People are starting to notice those grey hairs – enough said.
PISCES(February 19- March 20) I would suggest getting a dream catcher for all those awkward dreams that continue to haunt you in your sleep.